Deep night. Silence. Stillness. Eyes wide open, heartbeat racing, breath unsteady. Cold — immense cold — spreads through the body, from the outside in. A faint shift of balance, a sign of a storm about to break in my life. Overthinking? Perhaps. Please, let it be just that.
Thoughts scatter, the heart pounds like it’s racing — boom, boom, boom, boom… and silence. Maybe that’s how it is; there’s no other logic to it. The pulse slows, silence takes over… boom… it comes again, after a long pause… boom… The body trembles, searching for the last bit of warmth… boom… It doesn’t matter anymore.
I close the doors to everything. Darkness takes over. I hear nothing. Feel nothing. Only one door waits for the final spark of light — to see if it will come, ignite again, and set the whole cycle back in motion.
Darkness everywhere. I expect the end. I wait to see if a spark will appear — one I could hold on to. And then — light. So strong it illuminated my whole life. So warm that everything began to bloom in an instant.
It shone without rest, giving me all its energy, until it saw I no longer trembled. Until it knew I was all right. That I could finally sleep in peace. And even then, it never withdrew its light.
Sometimes life brings us to our knees, and we expect the worst, just so we won’t be broken again. But sometimes we find a kind of happiness so calm, there’s no reason to fear. So steady, that we long to give ourselves to it completely.